Happy Thoughts

A quick list of happy thoughts -

• Erin told me yesterday, "I think you've reached the cute part of pregnancy; you look like a cartoon". (I'm taking that in the best possible way.)

• Erin put her head on my chest last night and read bedtime poems to Colby. She read the Jabberwoky (she promised he wouldn't understand it anyway), The Mad Gardener's Song, Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod - maybe some others (I was really tired). Colby played gently while she talked - I felt his little fingers and toes wiggling. I could feel Erin's words vibrate through my chest so I'm sure Colby could hear her too.

• Today is exactly 30 weeks and I still feel great. I had another reflux "episode" a few nights ago (very bad - needed to change all the sheets, scrub the carpet, and empty the trash at 4am). We went out that day and bought bigger pillows though so now I'm back to sleeping great.

• Colby is head-down already - yay! The midwife pressed on my belly to feel his position. Erin put her hands under the midwife's and as they jiggled my belly in one place and then another, the midwife said, "See how when we shake his bum, the whole body shakes, but when we shake his head, it just rocks back and forth". Erin was mildly grossed-out but I thought it was pretty cool.

As of the last midwife appointment, I'd gained 7 pounds in only 3 weeks - Yikes! I'm up to 25 lbs so far. Hmmm, only 10 weeks to go but I'd prefer not to continue gaining 2+ pounds per week. I did notice a huge change in my belly size too though so it seems our little guy had a growth spurt or something.

I mentioned my crazy "heartburn" to my midwife last week. She called it reflux and I realized that was a much more accurate word for describing it. She said that reflux that bad is really unusual so I guess I'm just weird. I haven't really had any of the very common daytime heartburn problems in a long time though so I think it is a fair trade.

A few 30-week pictures.

Perspectives

Our friend Kyle read my last post and posted an entry on his blog about it. It was a little weird for me to just kind of stumble upon it a few weeks later when I happened to check his blog. That isn't the reason for this entry though - the reason I'm writing this post is because, while he didn't at all imply that I was being a whiny b*tch, he did say that it was sort of a wake up to the "realities of pregnancy". The funny thing is that I thought my post was sort of the opposite. I honestly genuinely feel like pregnancy has been SO MUCH less of a pain than I had expected.

My "What to Expect..." book says that I may be experiencing some or all of the following symptoms:

• lower abdominal achiness
• constipation
• increasingly heavy whitish vaginal discharge
• heartburn
• indigestion
• flatulence
• bloating
• occasional headaches, faintness, or dizziness
• nasal congestion and occasional nosebleeds; ear stuffiness
• pink toothbrush from bleeding gums
• leg cramps
• backache, sciatica (lower back and leg pain)
• mild swelling of the ankles and feet, occasionally of the hands and face
• varicose veins of the legs
• hemorrhoids
• itchy abdomen
• shortness of breath
• difficulty sleeping
• scattered Braxton Hicks contractions
• clumsiness (also increased risk of falling)
• colostrum leaking from enlarged breasts
• mood swings
• absent mindedness
• increasing fatigue
• overheating

Of the symptoms listed above, I really only have heartburn that has been fairly easy to control, minor back pain (worst while driving), occasional leg cramps, and some absent mindedness that may or may not actually be related to pregnancy. I feel pretty darn awesome whenever I think of how crappy I could feel.

As of my last midwife appointment, I'd gained a little over 20 pounds. I still can't get over how crazy that I carry that around 24/7 with only a little heartburn to complain about. I do hesitate to say that I LOVE being pregnant. I definitely think I'll miss some aspects of it when it is over. I'm only in the beginning of the third trimester though so I suspect things only go down hill from here. I might as well enjoy my happy pregnancy feelings while they last though.

Photos of the diapers I've been sewing. I bought the pattern from VeryBaby.com

Belly photos from 27 weeks - I hit 29 weeks on Friday. When I look at those photos I can't believe how much bigger I got in just the last 2 weeks. My belly growth really seems to be accelerating. I'll take a new set of photos at 30 weeks.

Two Trimesters in Review

Well, I'm almost 27 weeks, does that mean I'm in the third trimester? I think it does. Holy crap, we have SO MUCH WORK to do in the next 3 months. Our bedroom is only mostly sheetrocked (it was an addition on the house that we started years ago - it has been livable but I'm sure we're not going to have any MORE time once Colby is here).

So, actually, I said Colby above, I guess I've been so bad about blogging that I haven't even put up the ultrasound photo of our little guy... or mentioned that we've named him Colby... and that he's a HE.




That is sort of why I titled this post Two Trimesters in Review, because I have a lot of catching up to do.

I was thinking about how everything changes every day and you can't take anything for granted. I've learned that I'll just start to really dislike a pregnancy symptom only to have it be instantly gone and replaced by something twice as bad the next day. Sort of a "be careful what you wish for" kind of thing. Now, I just focus on how happy I am that whatever random annoyance I have now isn't worse.

Early on, all I felt was TIRED - sleep was like a drug that I craved 24/7. Forming that little lump of cells into something resembling a baby is obviously REALLY hard work.

For weeks 6-9, I was sick. The weirdest part though is that it wasn't even that simple (in just 3 weeks). It started off as a general "motion-sick" feeling where I just felt crappy all day long but not like I was actually going to "be sick". Then it turned very quickly into random explosions of illness but mostly feeling normal between those, and finally random aversions. Even just looking at the bottle of my multi-vitamins made me run for the sink/toilet.

I've had a few weird cravings - bagel with cream cheese and hamburger (the burger just stuck between the two halves of the cream-cheesy bagel - oh, and with ketchup too). I had a bagel with almond butter on it and then a side of fried clams. Those weren't actually in the same bite though, just on the same plate. The last one isn't so weird, I just happened to think it up recently - almond butter, with a bit of brownie mix swirled in and then I'd take one of those "real-fruit" coconut popsicles and dip it. I've been craving sugar lately like crazy. Actually, specifically chocolate most of the time. I've been trying SO HARD to eat healthy though so I usually only cave in at the end of the day and have a bit of ice cream, a popsicle, or a few chocolate chips. Overall, I think I've been doing OK. Every once in a while I'll go a little crazy (like with the almond butter, brownie mix, and coconut) and eat a large serving of desert.

The only negative symptom I've had during the second trimester has been heartburn. At first, the heartburn would come mostly during the day. Weird things would trigger it too - not the normal tomato sauce that I've always heard about. No, my worst was when I'd eat oatmeal and banana for breakfast. I don't even know how long that stuck around for but my daytime heartburn is mostly gone for now. (of course, I stopped eating oatmeal and banana for breakfast).

A few weeks ago though, I think my least favorite pregnancy symptom started up. I was fast asleep and woke up gasping, choking, and spitting because the contents of my stomach had, for some strange reason, decided to completely fill my mouth and nose. It wasn't that I was vomiting in my sleep, my stomach just leaked. I thought maybe it was just a fluke thing but after 3 nights of that I've started sleeping on a big wedge of pillows. That seems to have solved the problem. I now know how it is possible for someone to die if they pass out while drunk. It was horrible and terrifying to wake up feeling like you're drowning. At least this one was a fairly easy fix though.


So, six months down and I think those are my only complaints - not bad. I'm amazed every day at how relatively normal that I feel. It is so bizarre to think that I've gained almost 20 lbs and I really don't feel any different. If I were carrying around a bucket full of 2 and 1/2 gallons of water 24/7 I think I'd be dramatically more tired and sore. It really is just amazing how the female human body adjusts to everything during pregnancy with relative ease.

Sometime soon I'll post pics of the cloth diapers I've been sewing (that has been an adventure since I think the last thing I've sewed was in Home Ec. class in 6th grade) and maybe our big bedroom renovation project. I'm ridiculously proud of the diapers though since they've been particularly challenging for me.

23 weeks and 3 days

Around midnight last night, I started bleeding. It was terrifying. It was at least as heavy as a normal period. We called the midwife and she said that sometimes it is nothing but sometimes it is serious. If it was a serious problem, cramping would soon follow so she said we could wait to see if I started cramping before going to the ER. I figured we weren't going to sleep either way so we might as well go to the ER and see if they could tell us anything definitive. We decided to go to townM instead of townR because their hospital is nicer and they're only 10-15 minutes further away. It took about 45 minutes to get there and it felt like forever. We were both really freaking out and imagining worst-case scenarios. The bleeding seemed to be getting worse. The midwife had said that before 24 weeks, they don't generally even try to save the baby since it just isn't possible to survive that young. (I'm 23 weeks and 3 days!) I think she was sort of saying there was no point in rushing off to the best ER because even if it was bad news, there was not much they could do. It just kept turning over in both of our heads though. (The midwife did end up being really great through the whole process and I'm chalking that comment up to the fact that I had just woken her up in the middle of the night.)

So we got to the ER and I said "I'm 24 weeks pregnant and bleeding" - hey, what's a few extra days right? The ER Dr. was a little bit of a nut. Granted, it was about 2am and we probably woke him up (the ER was completely empty). He certainly didn't seem experienced at a pelvic exam though. We were so incredibly stressed out and that was NOT helping. He was having trouble finding my cervix and since Erin did my IUIs she had to be pretty good at that so she finally said "try down and to the left". I felt like just asking him to get out of the way and let Erin do it. He did an exam and said that at least my cervix didn't seem to be dilating (he didn't seem totally sure about that either though). The bleeding seemed to be stopping. He called the OB on-call who said I should go home and follow up with an OB within the next 2-3 days for an ultrasound and to come back to the ER if I start cramping.

We got home around 3am. Both Erin and I talked about how, over the last 3 hours, we couldn't help thinking about what it would be like to lose him. I thought about what it would be like to pack all of the tiny little clothes into boxes. Erin said part of her regretted finding out the gender and giving him a name because it would be sooooo much harder to lose him now.

I was almost falling asleep when Erin said "Is he kicking now?" I said "No, not right now" she waited a few seconds and said, "Can I snuggle with him anyway?" She moved over so that her back was against my belly and Colby started kicking right away. It was pretty cool. We've done that quite a bit when he's really active at night so that Erin can feel him moving while we fall asleep. It felt so good just to know that at least for the moment, he was still doing fine and safely squashed between us.

We slept terribly until 8 and then got up and started calling doctors. We managed to get an appointment today with Dr C. who we'd seen to get our ultrasound 2 weeks ago. He was really great. Maybe this is TMI but just a basic explanation - I had a really small cervical polyp (weird little growth on the cervix that is no big deal) that I saw my PCP about back when we were trying to get pregnant. Dr. C. said that sometimes due to hormones and stuff, they'll grow like crazy during pregnancy and bleed. He asked Erin if it looked any bigger now and she said something like "OH MY GOD!" so that was pretty obviously the problem. He removed it quickly and painlessly (no drugs or anything, it just didn't hurt). He said that the problem should have been fairly obvious and it was unfortunate that the ER doctor just wasn't experienced enough to know that. (We told Dr. C. about how Erin ended up offering him some advice on finding my cervix and he thought that was absolutely hilarious.) He said there was no need for an ultrasound because any other problem would be a HUGE coincidence and 99% of serious problems also have severe pain along with them (but obviously to call if we had any other problems).

So, we're fine now. It sucked but it was actually nothing and our coping skills also weren't very good at 2am.

Quick update

Wow, I'm bad at this blogging thing.

So, our recent exciting news is that Erin felt the baby kick yesterday. We were watching a movie and I could feel the baby kicking so I put Erin's hand on my stomach. She couldn't feel it at first so I pushed her hand down and the baby kicked in exactly the right spot. Pretty cool!

The baby is generally active every night between about 10pm to midnight. Hmmm, I wonder that's a habit that will stick around after the baby is born? I very rarely feel it at any other time of day though.

Suppose that's all for now. We should have results of the genetic screening soon - I hope everything is ok. It would be awful to find out something is wrong at this point. We've grown quite attached to the little bullfrog in my belly.

Happy fetus day!

At 9 weeks today we have officially moved from embryo to fetus!

We need to make a decision about whether or not we're going to use the doppler at our next appointment to hear the baby's heartbeat. It would be nice to actually get confirmation that there really is a baby in there but I suppose the odds are pretty good that it is.

Our dilemma - dopplers are a type of ultrasound and ultrasounds might be bad. Okay, so the studies are really preliminary but we wouldn't be listening to the heartbeat for any reason other than curiosity. Even if the odds of it being damaging are one in a billion, is curiosity really a good reason to possibly put our little fetus at risk? Hmmm.... yet I'm still tempted because it would be awfully nice to hear a heartbeat and it would only be like 2 seconds. I mean, we're not talking about hours of ultrasound exposure. I'm sure the kid is in more danger every time that I get in the car.

So here's the big scary article that makes me worry about ultrasounds:
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/ultrasoundrodgers.asp

Obviously written from a very biased perspective but at least all of the studies are cited at the bottom so it is a good jumping-off point for looking at all different studies on ultrasound.

And another one from the same site and just as biased:
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/ultrasound.asp

My morning sickness has been more-or-less gone for the last week. That had actually worried me a bit so our midwife offered to do a quantitative HCG test to make sure we're still in the right range for a normal pregnancy. I did get sick again the following night though so I think I'm fine, just lucky to have such light nausea!

Morning sickness sucks

Well, I almost made it to 8 weeks without actually vomiting...

I've been surprised that the morning sickness seems to go through different stages of totally different types of nausea - just to keep things interesting I guess.

At first (starting around 6 weeks), I felt really motion sick all the time. Kind of dizzy and yucky but not the type of feeling that would actually cause me to "get sick". Then, by about 7 weeks, I had that plus aversions. I'd think of something - like my vitamins, or certain foods - and just the thought of them would make me gag (just re-reading that sentence is doing it). Still, it was more like when you swallow a pill that kind of makes you choke. I still didn't really feel like I was actually in danger of losing my lunch.

Yesterday though - ahh, we have a whole new and exciting type of morning sickness. I get up, get into the shower and proceed to actually get sick. Well, as best my body can manage in its pre-breakfast state. Once I eat, I seem to go back to my sea-sick plus specific aversions. I'm wondering if it is only a matter of time for that too though.

Occasionally, maybe 1 day per week, I actually get a day off. I'll feel perfectly normal for just about the whole day. It is so weird because part of me wants to analyze everything to try to figure out what could have possibly triggered the good day so that I can repeat it. Then, of course, part of me worries that it is a bad sign and I'm about to have a miscarriage because I suddenly don't feel like crap.

I'm at 7 weeks, 5 days today. I think I read somewhere that morning sickness might peak around 8-9 weeks... who knows, maybe that is just wishful thinking though. Honestly, if it doesn't get any worse than this, I'm sure that I have it better than most women. For some reason no matter how often I repeat that though, it doesn't seem to help me to feel any less crappy.

Each time that thought creeps into my head that I've only gone through less than 2 weeks of this and I very likely have at least 4 more weeks to go, it makes me want to cry. I'm sure the time will pass and someday I might even forget how crappy I feel now and actually want to do this again. I know that is how it all works. I'm really looking forward to looking back at this and saying, "It really wasn't that bad."