Good Sign

Yahoo - big temp spike today. A very good sign. I've read that implantation can cause a spike like that. :::fingers crossed:::

charting stuff

I've been charting my waking-temperature.

I'm happy that my chart looks really "normal" (as far as I can tell). My temp stays low, dips just before ovulation, and then spikes up and stays high until just before my period (all characteristics of a normal chart). If an egg is fertilized, the egg itself will produce a hormone that will keep the temperature high - so, a big drop in the next few days means bad news - a steady high could be good news.

My chart (edited - fixed the broken link)

2nd Try

Well, each time we learn a little bit more - expensive life lessons but I think we're getting the hang of things. If this month doesn't work, at least we'll feel like we still have room for improvement next month.

My cycles have been around 30-32 days for the last 6 months. Last month, I had scheduled the sperm delivery for so early that we almost missed the 7-day insemination window (the dry ice is only good for 7 days after delivery). I was determined not to let that happen again so I scheduled delivery for CD14.... and by Murphy's law, I got a positive OPK at 3pm on CD13. Not the end of the world - still plenty of time for a good insemination but a little nerve-wracking that we cut it so close again.

In order to ensure that we got the delivery early in the day, I called FedEx and asked them to hold the shipment at their sorting facility rather than put it on the truck for delivery. That way, I was able to pick it up at 10am rather than wait for the guaranteed-by-4:30pm delivery. (FedEx actually usually comes through our town around 4pm so this seemed worth the 40 minute drive to the sorting facility).

We had decided to try a water-bath thaw this time. I'd read a study done with cattle IUI and it showed a dramatically higher success rate with water thaw. We purchased two high-quality thermometers of different brands (so that we could at least make sure that they match each other or take the average of any small difference). We set up our large cooler in the bathtub and filled it with hot tap water and then added cold water to bring it down to 95 degrees F.

At around 11:00 am on CD14 Erin dropped one of the vials into the water and timed 3 minutes and then did the IUI. I stayed in bed for about 45 minutes while Erin made breakfast.

My mom and step-dad came to visit that day. It was a little stressful to have company while trying to keep track of everything else too but it really worked out fine - especially with my early ovulation.

That night, Erin and I stayed up really late and did the 2nd insem. around 2am on CD15. That was 35 hours past my positive OPK so it actually was a bit late by OPK-timing-standards. We left the 2nd vial in the water bath for 4 minutes and when I checked them under the microscope it looked like every single one was motile. It was so cool! The last vial looked like it had about 50% motility (totally fine for a frozen sample) but this one was AWESOME! The other "good luck" sort of thing was that the date on this vial was 8/30/04 and here we were using it on 8/31/07 - how weird!

We have had some trouble with the sperm just flowing right back out of the cervix (I'm not convinced that we're actually getting it all the way to the uterus) so we tried something a little bit different this time. We cut the end of the catheter off so that the flared end would hopefully block the os a bit and help force some of that sperm in the right direction. It seemed to work OK. Erin said there was definitely less coming back out. I like this way and I think we'll probably stick with it if we do need to try again.

So this all sounds great right? Unfortunately, my temperature didn't rise Saturday morning as it should have if I had ovulated in the last 24 hours. It did rise on Sunday (a lot) so it really looks like I actually ovulated on Saturday and that we were early.

Who knows if that 2nd vial of super-sperm can survive that long (I've heard that post-thaw sperm is only viable for about 6 hours). We'll see.

So if things don't work out this month, it leaves us with some decisions to make next month. We can either a) get two vials and use them at 24 and 48 hours after surge b) get 3 vials and do 20, 30, and 40 hours past surge (if we don't get a temp rise) or c) stick with same plan as before - the "standard-issue" clinic timing.

Oh well, no sense in thinking about that stuff yet.





You really don't realize how small 1/2 CC is until you see it. This little vial comes less than half full (I set it next to some lip balm for size comparison).

Ahh, the rollercoaster is just getting going...

Well, we've had an interesting TWW... I'm pretty darn impatient so I decided to test at 9DPO. It was negative (to be expected that early) but I left the test just sitting there and went on about my day. About 8 hours later, I picked it up and there were clearly 2 pink lines. I know the directions say not to read the results after 30 minutes but it did seem to offer some hope. Maybe as the urine dried, it became more concentrated, right? Hmm...

So, of course, now I was so excited that I just had to test on day 10 also. The same thing happened and I got a very faint second line about 6 hours after I'd taken the test.

I was sort of frustrated and frazzled by the whole experience. I've had a few acupuncture appointments to try to help boost my fertility and I've always felt SOOO relaxed and in a really great mood afterwards. I decided to call my acupuncturist to see if she could get me in for a little "relaxation treatment". She did and I felt so much better afterward. Who knows, maybe it is all in my head but it certainly made me feel better so I'm happy. I waited 3 more days before testing again.

On 13DPO, I used a really cheap internet pregnancy test. It showed a definite ghost line about 10 minutes after taking the test. Good, right? That must be a REAL positive, right? Well, I ran out to the drugstore and bought a $10 test - these were the "dip" tests so I left the little cup of my 1st-morning-urine sitting in the bathroom while I ran to the store - that one was CLEARLY negative (even a few hours later).

It really would have been easier if they were just all negative from the beginning. I'm not super-upset or devastated or anything - it was only the first try. Still, I hate the mind-games.

I've had a lot of pinching pain on my left side. My doctor (by phone) thinks it is a minor cyst and nothing to worry about. She said that just happens from time to time. So, I googled ovarian cysts and found two interesting details -

1 - some cysts form because the egg never actually popped out of the follicle (meaning that perhaps we never even got out of the starting gate this month).

2 - some cysts can cause false-positive pregnancy tests.

Hmmm, I'm not sure what all of this means. I'm still only 13DPO but not very hopeful for this month. My goal is to wait at least this long before I even start testing next month... and throw the negative test away immediately after the test period.

Ahhh, lessons learned.

First Try

So that doesn't look TOO conspicuous sitting outside our front door, right?



Haha, the FedEx guy just smirked and said "It's all yours"





So, now good old 3108's stuff is sitting in our bedroom (still in the big dry ice tank). We're almost ready to go but timing is SO important. Hence, OPK's are important (ovulation predictor kits). Unfortunately, today's results were a little confusing.

I've been testing every time I pee. Today, I was working outdoors and sweating a TON (it was 95 F). I was not drinking nearly as much water as I should have been and was seriously dehydrated. When I peed (around 1pm), I got a positive surge - Probably the darkest line I've ever seen on an OPK.

I went again a few hours later though (5pm-ish) and it was back to not-as-dark as the control line. Same results just now around 8pm.

So, did I actually surge? I have no idea.

I guess we're going to plan to inseminate tomorrow morning and late tomorrow night unless my pee tells me anything new.

Phew, how annoying!

Oh, PS, happy 29th birthday... an LH surge was just what I wanted!

Well, our KD backed out... last minute. I have been counting down the days to start TTC for what feels like forever - I know it isn't but it was still heartbreaking to have a change in plans that causes more delay.

Anyway, we're moving on. We have picked out a bank and had "photo-matching" done with pictures of Erin. The response came back and it was pretty neat - the donor that we'd picked as our favorite was "absolutely by far the closest match in the whole catalog". The representative claimed that there was an absolutely striking resemblance. It is going to cost and arm and a leg but this seems to be the next step.

The donor that we picked is "willing to be known" so when the child turns 18, s/he can request his contact info. Sounds good. Not exactly what we'd wanted... well, I say that but I guess it is easy from my end. I always wanted the baby to be able to have a close relationship with the donor but I know Erin was kind of wary of that plan. She is the "other mother" and needs to have her relationship reinforced and affirmed. I understand her jealousy of a donor-baby relationship; like she is a "third-wheel" or something. This will be good.... and I'm sure in a few years, we'll look back on this and think that we couldn't possibly imagine life any other way.

Hi, you don't know us but we want your sperm...

Well, yup, that just about exactly how it went.

We knocked on KD's door and had probably one of the most awkward conversations ever. This was less than 24 hours after we'd been sitting in the bar and our friend suggested him. He did come highly recommended from everyone who knew him. We'd also spent hours looking at photos and even found a campus newspaper article that he was featured in. We really wanted this to work but that first step felt nearly impossible.

We debated the merits of asking our mutual friend to ask him to come bowling with us or something causal like that. She said that seemed weird and she didn't feel comfortable luring him into a false get-together just so that we could check him out. I am pretty sure that she would have explained the whole situation to him and offered to introduce us. I really felt like this was our responsibility though, and we probably shouldn't drag someone else into it.

So, E made me PROMISE that I'd do all the talking. She was excited and decided that we should "go for it" but couldn't even begin to think of what to say. So, we found his dorm room, knocked, and by some miracle, he was actually there and his roommate was not.

I introduced us and paused for a few seconds trying to think of what to say next. I think he got the idea that there was something that I was having trouble explaining. He invited us in and I suggested that we all sit down because this was going to be a really weird conversation and we might as well be as comfortable as possible.

I basically told him the whole story about how E and I were frustrated with the process that we were going through and someone had suggested that he would be perfect. We told him about all the research we'd done about him and the things that we particularly liked.

KD's first question, oddly enough, was who had recommended him. He thought it was really cool that one of his friends would suggest him for something like this.

Then he said, "Well, I think I've already made my decision so I guess I should just tell you". That was it, I was absolutely sure that this was the opening line to a "Thanks but no thanks" speech. I felt like an idiot. I think I jumped in with something like "Well, take your time". He continued by saying that even though none of us knows each other very well, he feels like he's a pretty good judge of character and that he "Loves us already".

I think both of us were still sitting there staring at him waiting for him to say no. So, finally, I said, "So, does that mean... yes?". He laughed and said, "Yeah".

Wow, so I wanted to be clear on what we wanted. I explained that our requirements would be a minimum of giving up parental rights and allowing the child to contact him when s/he turns 18 and a maximum would be giving up parental rights but maintaining some contact 1-2 times per year. I asked him what he thought of those options.

Now, this is something that I love about KD - He's so funny because his minor is psychology and he plays the part perfectly - "What would you prefer?" I think he answers almost everything that we ask him that way. He said that he'd be comfortable with either option.

So, we've actually gotten together with him a few times over the past few weeks. He's funny and kind and I'm so scared now that he might change his mind. He seems to be fine. Every time that I see him, I ask if he's still OK with everything. So far the answer has always been yes.

Today is 97 days from when we hope to start. Uggg, I want it to be June NOW. I know that we're totally not ready yet. I still have a ton of work to finish on the house... but I hate the stress of waiting and wondering if this is all going to work. Oh well, I keep telling myself that 3 months will pass very quickly.